Remember a while ago when I said I’d have my student loans paid off within a year? When I made that goal I somehow forgot that Sam’s Club exists.
At Sam’s, strawberries are the size of oranges, oranges the size of cantaloupes, cantaloupes the size of watermelons, and watermelons the size of yo’ anus. King-size bags of chip come in Tupacs and cookbooks share an aisle with underpants. Sam’s is perfect.
Two-pack Tupac
Did you know Sam’s Club hosts live infomercial demonstrations? Me neither, until I got sucked into one with a promise of a free knife and ended up buying an entire set. My sister didn’t want to watch me reenact the demonstration, so instead I ask that you do.
Sometimes shook up old ladies get cut
classygallie 
Best part of this video: “‘What that smell like?’ is what my shirt says”
You are hilarious! But you scare me with that knife though. I think you need constant supervision when around them.
“These tomatoes don’t cut themselves!”