I logged in today because I want to blog more regularly. I know I’ve said that before but this time I’m really gonna try—I read some article about staving off Alzheimer’s and it said that people who have more analytic/complex jobs are better off. My job isn’t at all analytic and neither is this blog obviously HAHA but look, here I am talking about staving! That’s a hell of a word! You go, brain.

Anyway, I logged in and was greeted with this great big banner about making money off my blog. I write about throbbing hemorrhoids, saggin tiddies, regenerating pachinkos—imagine me asking someone to pay me for that??? Criminal.

In conclusion, I am not going to try to monetize this trash blog. However, I am going to bring you some more quality content. Potential forthcoming blog topics include:

• Dunkin Donuts Wake-Up Wraps
• Bug bites

Thank you.