A $200 dollar trip to the mall, AND I AIN’T BUY NOTHING

I dropped my phone in the parking lot of the main mall of Maine, the Maine Mall, last Friday. I dropped it right on its gorilla glasshole face.


Mint condish!

I’ve been using iPhones for close to five years — at this point, I’m embarrassingly dependent on them. How do non-iPhoners check Facebook? Or identify songs they don’t know? Or make their pictures look old? Or sneakily take pictures of people while pretending they’re talking on the phone? I just don’t get it!

As you can imagine, I was upset when I picked my phone off the ground and saw how funkdafied its face was. I thought maybe I could save it by searching the ground for the pieces of glass missing from the screen. Turns out tiny glass shards are hard to find in slushy parking lots at nighttime.

After giving up that idea, I thought if I went to the Apple store an Apple genius would take pity on me. He’d be charmed by my sweetness, and intimidated by my budding mustache, and would switch out my phone for a new one on the cheap. Either my sweetness wasn’t charming enough or my mustache wasn’t intimidating enough, cause my smelly little genius wasn’t having it. The best he could do was slap a few pieces of packing tape across my screen.

Seriously. Dude slapped the crap out of my phone with tape.


Sent me home all doctored up

Now, I’m stuck with a cracked phone with tape sticking out all over da place. It still functions, kind of, but I can’t really use it to make phone calls. I’d like to buy a new one, but no way no how am I wasting valuable student loan moolah on this.

I bet I can make it until summer. Right?

P.S. Quick update on my goal to debt freedom: I paid off Credit Card #1, all but $31.49 of Credit Card #2, and paid back my mom for my new tires. One of my student loans effed me up by switching my minimum payment, so I think one of my payments was late. Dangit dammitall.

P.P.S. That new iPad looks sweet, huh? And to think, starting at only $499!

8 thoughts on “A $200 dollar trip to the mall, AND I AIN’T BUY NOTHING

  1. improperly forward

    There are people who fix those things on the cheap. In my area, around $50 to a guy you find on Craigslist will have you good as new. Of course, you have to run the risk that he’s a serial killer that wants to meet you at your place, but we NEED our iPhones! (Seriously, I’m sure you can find a similar guy. They’re everywhere.)

  2. lovelylici1986

    GF liked to stick her iPhone in her back pocket. Well, on Boxing Day, she took a trip to the potty and… Well… SPLOOSH! She was too excited about making it work, so she broke the rules I kept repeating to her about leaving it off, and letting it sit in rice. Phone go bye-bye. She’s been Motorola-ing it out ever since. The most basic phone ever. It just makes and received called and text messages. And maybe it has an alarm. Ha!

    1. aconn464 Post author

      Ughhh so sad when you hear that splash in the toilet! I’ve had the same thing happen to me (twice! and once in the ocean!) Fancy phones are heartbreakers 😦

  3. aparisi13

    Ahhh! The same thing happened to me while taking photos on the not-so-sly at a bed bath and beyond. I had some dude fix it for $50 bucks, but after a little google work I found a youtube video documenting a step by step of how to change the screen yourself and you can hit up amazon with your phone model and grab a new screen for cheap. good luck. The panic attacks usual start about 30 seconds after I realize that my phone isn’t on my person. It’s a sad, sad dependency but I’m willing to accept that.

    1. aconn464 Post author

      It really is such a sad dependency. I sometimes think about going to back to a normal phone, but I don’t think I have it in me. P.S. Did you know in the iPhone manual it say to always have your phone at least 3/4″ away from your body when you’re not using it? Scary shiz!

  4. tracey

    you are not alone…My daughter did the same thing. She quickly called me for comfort and support at that moment of duress and grief. I tried my best to console her speaking calmly into my plastic landline which I could care less if I dropped, lost or broke. I assurred her that in time she would calm down and return to a natural state of mind, although, I had my doubts. I kept to myself the fact that she had a special customized case not available to regular iphone owners, one that protected the machine from all possible evils. A case given to her by her personal verizon account manager after she ran over her last phone with her nissan exterra. I would not pass judgement at this difficult time. Instead , I continued the conversation consoling her with as much apathy that I could muster…which wasn’t much, but I faked it pretty good. When it was time to say good bye, I felt confident that she was ok to move on. I told her that I loved her and she is, like you, not alone. I reminded her once again…there will be many more phones in her life.

    ps I found out later that the case had been removed to attach a special adapter which enabled the phone to download free movies on her 25 ft tv which she sits on the floor in front of…really! Also, she too got a late fee on a credit card. It was a $29 fine for not paying the $50 annual membership fee on time. It was her first bill…really


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